The Art of.. being real.
I am pretty sure this post is going to be a brief one. It’s been the usual insanity – I have been working hard all weekend on Create Art 4 Good… I feel good about my work, and yes maybe a little discouraged that things aren’t moving fast enough- or maybe I am just tired but in general, I feel good. I think what I want to write about, what I really need to say is that it’s okay, no, better than okay, it is vital that we are not only grateful for what we have, it is right to be vulnerable… to be real.
I think we let things get in our way sometimes. Our priorities get messed up, we lose sight.
I had an extremely frustrating day. I felt like I was spinning my wheels, a vendor let me down AGAIN and it hit me harder than usual. I was depending on the product being delivered , went out of my way to get it and when it did not happen- it rocked me. Again, I KNOW I am tired- but it shouldn’t have gotten to me the way it did.
Unfortunately it made me question my goals. I began to wonder if all of this is too hard. I am working full time, trying to start a business and still manage to be a loving engaged family member… today felt like all that blew up. I licked my wounds all day, letting doubt seep in, allowing worry to weaken my faith in this process instead of remaining solvent.
I lived my day today running errands, a family party, general insanity- I felt this sort of cloud over me all day. Hectic… just like every day.
When I got home tonight, I had an email- one that jolted me back into reality.
There’s a deadline tomorrow for a major project I am working on. The email is from someone who needs to submit some things for that project. She wrote me because she is upset, her submission will be late.
Doesn’t sounds like a big deal, does it? It is. This woman is worried about a submission to me (who by now is feeling self centered and spoiled) and she is upset because she is going to miss a deadline….
because she is fighting for her life.
I will respect her privacy- but essentially she is undergoing treatment and has been dealing with an infection. She has a fairly high fever and has been in and out of the hospital. What is she worried about? NOT herself, not her health… but the fact that she might miss my deadline.
Once I read this.. honestly nothing else mattered. I felt like God’s hand came down from heaven, smacked me in the head and reminded me of what is important. oh and just in case you were wondering? The vendor that messed up AGAIN today wasn’t important enough to cloud my entire day. It wasn’t worthy of that priority. Maybe it was merely in place to teach me something… or maybe it just was what it was. Either way… I allowed it too much of my energy. I suddenly feel vulnerable, human… and back in touch. It isn’t about stuff. It isn’t about deadlines.
After reading this e-mail, I felt like everything was stripped away as far as the “fluff” of my life and I am back on track.
So again.. the little stuff doesn’t matter- burnt toast, stupid vendors or your cat’s hair balls.
People matter. Honor matters, good intent… matters.
Keep it real
In Peace- (with prayers for my friend)