The art of loss.
It seems to me that everyone has had loss. Some handle it better than others, however the loss remains. There are movies made about it, cards for it and actual customs associated with it. However loss and how we handle it is deeply personal. It not only is a deeply intricate part of our journey, it also deeply influences our journey.
One of my favorite books written by Mitch Albom – “For One More Day”. In this book the main character has the opportunity to return to his family home and spend one more day with his mother. For him, things begin to fall back into place after making a disaster of his life and in the end there is hope for all. Albom has been criticized as being a sappy writer. Regardless of your opinion of his work I would suggest he gives us all something to think about.
It’s been over three years since my mother left this earth. She was indeed one of the most facinating humans I have ever known. Certainly complicated, incredibly loving, intelligent, strong spirited and incredibly generous, my mother left a huge hole in my life when she died.
To be frank, I haven’t always taken the time to process how I FEEL about that.
I suppose the anticipation of Mother’s Day has raised my conciousness, or spring, or just not being able to pick up the phone and share what is going on in my life. It might be too the sudden loss of someone I truly love recently, or the lady that walked past me in the grocery store whose scent seemed nearly identical to my mothers, but today I miss her terribly.
As I sit in quiet reflection of what this is, and why it is affecting me so profoundly I am wondering exactly what I am supposed to learn today. I admit I have often wished for “one more day” with her. I also struggle to decide what exactly I would do if I had it. Nothing quite seems worthy of such a precious gift.
The great gift about faith is that I firmly believe that somehow her hand is still in my life. I believe there is more after we die. While I find it difficult to not be able to pick up the phone and call her or surprise her with flowers or her favorite chocolate, I KNOW that she is still with me. I suppose the good news is while I have lost her physical presence in my daily life but the memories, the tools of life she has given me and her example not only sustains me but gives me a sense of her daily.
No, this doesn’t negate the loss- but somehow it makes it gives me peace.
So today, the day before Mother’s Day I celebrate the gifts my mother has given me and continues to give me. I will find her in lilacs, butterflies and a beautiful presented meal. I will see her in nature, photographs and the rocking chair she rocked me in as a baby. I will feel her love as she not only loved me deeply, but taught me to love- so she clearly lives on.
If your mother is still with you, I urge you to honor her today, tomorrow and every day. None of us are perfect but love cannot be wrong. If you have lost your mom, first, I’m sorry, and secondly do your best to push away the curtains of sadness to find comfort in that which reminds you of her. She is still with you- allow the loss to turn to appreciation for the gifts you were given by her presence.
Happy Mother’s Day- it is truly a day to celebrate life.
wishing you peace,