So you know how you KNOW something is going to happen and the universe whispers, “hmmm not yet, NOW what are you going to do?” That’s what happened today. I was CERTAIN things were going to go a certain way and poof none of what I thought would happen did.
I will let the cat out of the bag- I went to look at gallery space today. Space for me, for Create Art 4 Good, for my artists, for teaching, for creating, for art, for fun, for life.
I was so very excited.
I haven’t slept in two days! It felt like Christmas was coming and I had waited my entire life for it. I have been almost high the last few days, thinking about the fresh flowers I would keep in the gallery space and the welcoming cups of tea I’d offer to my patrons, my artists and visitors. It was all there in my head, perfectly planned out. Beautiful and engaging.
I know what you are thinking, “oh silly human, why would you set yourself up that way?” Well, you are likely much smarter than I am.
When I got to the building I intend to begin a relationship with this morning, I sat taking a moment discussing how I would arrange things, what I would do to the front door, how I would create the beautiful space I have dreamed of my entire artistic career. My sister who joined me on this journey smiled encouragingly. I honestly couldn’t have been happier. (well perhaps if I had enough money to OWN the building)
Then enters the manager of the building. He was kind and quirky. He asked what I was there to see, what my business was about and how he could help me.
I shared my humble vision, understanding that I have frugal means, but big vision.
He shook his head. “I have nothing available for you.”
As you read this hear my soul crushing, I know, it’s dramatic and all that, but honestly that is how it felt. Truly I anticipated (based on the information I had been given from his partner) that it was really just a matter of picking which studio I wanted. That was NOT the case in any way shape or form. He did show me two spaces that would be AMAZING, but that are also eight times larger (read 8 times even less affordable) than what I was prepared to take on.
My dreams were again out of reach. sigh
All of this happened before 9 am this morning and I’ve run the plethora of emotions resting a little on the sadness and disappointment.
I felt hurt, I felt defeated. I didn’t understand why I was brought to this place only to have something offered to me that was out of reach.
Then, I lived my day- I spoke to some new people about Create Art 4 Good, did some momish things AND I had the honor of signing a new artist!
and I rallied
I will be quite honest to tell you that patience is not one of my strengths. In my head before this meeting all the signs were pointing to me committing to a physical space and taking my vocation to the next level.
but the universe has spoken… not yet
So, I will practice the art of patience and prepare for my wonderful amazing space that Create Art 4 Good will call it’s first physical home.
Until then, I have work to do, artists to cheer on and art to create.
I wish you peace,