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The art of… being nice.

Alright, I know what you are thinking, (close your eyes children) “little Mary sunshine is going to show us how to poop butterflies!”

Nope- I’m not. The thing is, every day we have a choice, we have a choice to respond to life’s challenges. We can choose to face things with negativity or with kindness. I TRY to choose kindness. It’s not always easy- and no, for the record I do NOT have butterflies or rainbows flying out of places no one would like to discuss. However, I HAVE made a choice to love, and when I feel like I run out of love, patience or ability- I pray that God will continue through me.

I will be frank. While some times it is the more difficult choice to be kind, usually as a result I AM the one who feels more blessed.

It’s not easy. Life throws us daily challenges, we have an urgent list of things to do every day and never enough time to accomplish our desires. We work, we cook, we clean and we volunteer, hopefully we have some time in there somewhere to giggle a little bit now and again.

We walk the earth with countless others. Some who will hurt us. Some who will empower us.

It’s not always EASY to be nice. By nature, humans have flaws. We hurt those we care about, often without intending to. But it hurts just the same. We are selfish, we are blind to the needs of others, and we make mistakes.

The flip side? Humans who are hurt often lash out. Again, we don’t necessarily mean to be rotten, but you know, it happens.

Now we have a big pile of unhappy mess. EVERYONE loses.

So let us look at this a different way.

Walk softly, pay it forward, breathe deep.
When someone hurts you, perhaps try to look at why. First, why did it hurt? You are in charge of YOU- not anyone else. You are also in charge or your reactions to the actions of others. Did they MEAN to hurt us? Were they just completely unaware? Do they not have the tools in which to understand their own actions?

There is wisdom in “walking a mile in your neighbor’s shoes”-
when we understand people, we tend to not take their actions QUITE so personally.

It isn’t that their actions don’t hurt or have power, but if you take a moment to see the motivation then perhaps it doesn’t cut quite as deep.
It is also key to point out that this doesn’t give the offender a free pass, I am merely suggesting YOU change YOUR reaction.

How did you react this morning when that guy cut you off? I know, I know, he was rude, and dangerous. It got to you.
What if you knew he was rushing to the hospital to see his grandmother before she passed away?
That changes things quite a bit, right? He’s distracted, in urgent mode and not really thinking about the countless people his actions are affecting. Only that he needs to tell his Grandmother how much she means to him before she fades. Your perspective changes about his actions, right?

Again… we can only be in charge of ourselves.

The truth is you don’t KNOW what is truly going on in others. You know only yourself.
Instead of getting upset at that guy who cut you off, perhaps you should say a prayer for him, wish him well. Regardless of why he cut you off his behavior is careless and could cause issues.

yes, I am asking you to “be nice”
I promise YOU will feel better. The world will have less negativity and life will be a little more sunny.

I wish you peace,

Dreamer web

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